The one thing holding people back from discovering their purpose

When I left full-time work at Google in 2012, my life changed. Starting a consulting business gave me much greater flexibility to live my life.

It became a lifestyle business that supported my life, enabling me to put more time into my passions and opening up the opportunity to say 'yes' to spontaneous adventures.

It also enabled me to network more and meet a greater range of people outside my usual role.  It became an expansive period of my life, including stints travelling and doing what I loved most.  A Vipassana meditation retreat opened up a whole new level of self-awareness and knowing what I think is not who I really am (sorry, ego!).

I remember cycling home from a morning ride against all the commuter traffic.  It was a great sense of freedom. This left me pondering who came up with the 5 day working week and why we all must commute to offices when we could easily work remotely.

Typically, 8-10 hours are spent stuck in traffic each week. It made no sense to me. Something we all now realise, having experienced the benefits of working from home—the silver lining of Covid.

But how flexible are you to jump on a spontaneous adventure?

One adventure completely changed my life and took me on a crazy path of self-discovery, where I learned I was a completely different person from who I thought I was. This journey ultimately led me to discover my purpose five years later. I will share this story as a separate post to keep the thread of this one.

Connecting to my purpose at 40 years old and experiencing the transformational journey I had been on made me question why it had to take so long.   Why had I held myself back for most of my life?    How do we discover our purpose?   Is there a process?

I went deep into studying how we discover our purpose.   Everything I read was consistent with my experience.  ‘Purpose’ is not something we find outside ourselves it’s something that is a reflection of who we are.

I reflected on how much I have learnt about myself since leaving corporate life at Google. It was a crazy 5-year journey with amazing highs and key spiritual experiences, but also challenging times as I grew apart from my wife, leading to a divorce. I shook off a lifelong stutter, discovering that my voice is actually my superpower. I found myself in places that always scared me the most—being in the spotlight.

What held me back for so many years?

The answer lies in the reality of the system I grew up in. I did an Economics degree, thinking this would get me a well-paid job in the city and set me up for life.    Full-time work was the norm, with aspirations to get promoted to earn more, buy a house, get married, have kids and then retire.  The program was set out in front of me.

But the reality is that full-time work does not give you time or energy to invest in the things you really care about and to discover your true path.

I was subconsciously penned in by the story I created about myself from traumatic events in my first week of school, where I learnt to conform and please others.   The program is set up for this mindset, but it greatly limits our ability to tap into our true selves and our potential.

Who are you? I mean, who you really are.

It's only when you discover the true you, what makes you uniquely powerful, what excites you, and the cause that runs deep inside of you that you can reach the point of receiving a calling—something that becomes your life mission to make a difference outside of yourself.   When, for the first time, it's not about you but the difference you can make for others.

For me, my purpose was layered deep inside, which required years of self-work and self-discovery to peel back the layers of who I really was. Ironically, it was, in fact, the trauma that held me back all my life that was the source of my purpose.

When I was eating my Google lunch, I never could have imagined I would be organising Australia’s biggest sober dance party at Sydney Town Hall, themed on Alice in Wonderland, hosted by me as the protagonist, ‘The Mad Hatter’!

My mental health struggles throughout my became my underlying purpose to help others thrive. This purpose has been expressed through a variety of missions.

What's the one thing holding people back from their purpose?

I believe it is full-time work. Limiting our freedom for self-discovery and taking those spontaneous, passion-led adventures.   Where you put your time and energy reflects what you get back.

Too many people are in careers and jobs that don't align with their true capabilities and potential. So, how do we create time for self-discovery?

We do have more flexibility with working from home, which gives us time back. Four-day weeks are proving to increase productivity and reduce staff turnover. The time is now.

This leads me to my own purpose to help people thrive in life and contribute to solving the world's problems.

I help corporate escapees (or those planning their escape!) on the path of self-discovery and guide them to a more meaningful, fun and impactful life. I offer one-on-one coaching for this. This goes deep with self-discovery tools and reflection exercises, with a healthy amount of encouragement and accountability to create the change someone knows they need to make, even if it's uncomfortable or scary. Fear is often the biggest blocker.

But what about our younger generations? Disenchanted by the program and the concept of full-time work, they see no way to buy a home. Inspired by digital nomads on social media travelling while working, they see all the problems around them. Seeing all the problems around them, they are more purpose-driven.

I have created a Discover Your Purpose course for younger people to enjoy the shared experience of searching for more within themselves and to be in a position to inspire each other. To know their values, strengths and passions so they can make value-aligned decisions to pursue their purpose.

The big missed opportunity is for companies to play a greater role in helping employees grow at work, to live more of their life outside work so they can bring more of their brilliance to work.   But company cultures are often not psychologically safe places to express more of yourself.  And there lies the problem.

Can I help you on your path? Or perhaps your kids? I am at your service.

Let's climb the ladder to true passion, purpose, impact, fulfilment and belonging.